I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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