There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
