My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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