In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
