I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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