what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
