turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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