I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
