Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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