Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
