I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
