the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
