Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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