Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
