Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
