Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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