You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
