You can't special order awesome
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
