I wannas sexs uuuuu
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
