Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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