I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
