When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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