Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
