one two three fourrrrnication!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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