idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
