I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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