Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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