once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
