Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
