This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
