quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
