just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
