Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
