Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
