You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
