just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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