dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
