Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
