um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
