You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
