he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
