they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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