I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
