I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
