Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
