Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I want to fling myself into the sun
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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