I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
