You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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