Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
