I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
